As a nurse, our identity is so tied with our profession. If there is any question about how we are doing our job, we take it personally. If you have been written up or have been disciplined as a nurse, I would encourage you to look at things differently. View it as a learning opportunity.

If you recall, I’m sure you will find times in your life which were difficult or hard but you managed to come through them. My guess is that you came through for the better.

I also have had very difficult times in my life, especially two instances where I thought my life was over. The first time was when I got divorced and that was certainly a life-shattering event. However, I had a great divorce attorney who so impressed me that I decided to go to law school.

The second time was after leaving a law firm where I had been a partner for almost 8 years before my largest client, an insurance company, went out of business. Losing that client and that position with the firm was devastating. The events forced me to start my own successful law office which, of course, allowed me to form Empowered Nurses.

Although both of those times were extremely difficult to go through, those paths led to very positive results for which I remain thankful to this day.

We add meaning to everything in our life. By looking at the good that comes out of it is a much more healthy and positive approach. But with uncomfortable events, looking at things as “neutral” will make life so much easier. We can give a negative meaning to an event and sure, you have to feel your feelings to get through the rough time but, again, make it neutral rather than “bad.” Not only does it make life so much easier but you’ll find that you’re not always at the effect of everything.

You are NOT a bad person because you got a write-up. You’re not a bad person because you had a discipline against your license. Think about the event that caused the discipline or the license question. In all likelihood, it was a one-time isolated event or over a short period of time. But that does not define all the good that you’ve done or all the great care you’ve given your patients and all the ways you’ve contributed to your unit.

You do have a choice of how you look at things. You can look at things as positive or negative or just neutral. The choice is yours! I suggest choosing the one that empowers you.